This thing called time? It flies.

I swear 'time' has wings. I remember when BLH first got his orders to Greenland, it seemed like it was light years away. In reality, only 7 months. I remember us talking about how "It's still 7 months away, that's tons of time." But now, today, it's exactly 3 months away. I think it's really starting to settle in for both of us that he will be gone for an entire year. A whole year with no husband, no father, no companion, no sidekick, no texts, no cuddles on the couch, no warm body in bed. A year. We are trying to busy our minds by trying to think of things that he will need over there, material things, that will make the time pass a little faster. A computer, movies, digital picture frame, camera, games, nice comfy sheets. It's so much different this time, than it was when he deployed. When he deployed, I knew, God willing, that he would be home in 4-6 months. But this time. This time, he will be home in 6 months, but he has to leave again. A quick jaunt to Washington, and he'll be back on that jet plane to the middle of no where.

I can't imagine what is going through his head. What he thinks about. I don't think I could do what he does. I don't think I'm strong enough. I have so much respect for him, it's unreal. Being away from my spouse and kids for a year; to be somewhere with no one familiar, somewhere so desolate. I can't even imagine. I am so thankful that there are a lot of things to do where he's going to keep him busy. To keep him going. I am also insanely thankful that there is Skype, and telephones, and Internet. I have started brainstorming millions of things that the kids and I can do for him and send over so he gets things in the mail often. Something to look forward to, something to make him smile, and feel wanted and loved. And thought about.

Anyways, just had to vent. My brain hasn't shut off for a day now, and things are starting to feel really intense. BLH always makes fun of me for missing something before it's gone, but I already miss him.

Up and Running

So off I am on another blog.  I have a family blog to keep our friends and family around the world updated on our lives, how we're doing, how the kids are growing.  But I longed for something else.  A way to vent, a way to get it all out there without needing to censor myself.  If I want to use less than lady-like language---which I never do---cough cough--, I can.  If I want to be down I can be without a million people hounding my back asking me if I am okay. I want to write what I want to write about- not only about the family and the kids.  I wanted some sort of sense of understanding.  And by reading the millions of blogs that I do daily, I've come to see the sense of friendship people form, the bond they have, the support network.  And while my husband does not get this, nor will he ever, I do.  And I want it.  So here I am!

A little background might be helpful?  Probably.

I met the man who is now my husband when I was about to be a Freshman, I believe.  In High School, mind you.  I was having a sleep over at a girlfriends house and she said that a couple guys were going to come over because one of them was going to be leaving for Basic in a couple days.  Me, I was okay with this.  Insanely boy crazy- and I was sure they had to be cute.  One ended up marrying me, and the other ended up being one of my best friends, still do this day.
We flirted the night away, and I even scored a back massage.  He left for basic 2 days later, and we didn't talk again for what seemed like years.  In reality it was about 5 months.  We ended up starting the old school pen and paper, and it eventually led to a few phone calls.  His next leave he took, we spent every minute we could together.  By the end of his leave, I 'thought' I loved him.  But I was worried that it was just a new fling feeling- a rather intense one- and that I'd wait awhile and see how it went.  I was young after all, but that aspect felt so grown up.  So matured. 
His next leave home I knew.  When the thought of marrying this man crossed my mind, I didn't run.  The boy crazies I talked of earlier weren't in the picture.  It was him.  I loved him.  Loved him. And it turned out, he loved me too. 
Fast forward- we got engaged, I was still in High School, which made it a little awkward for me, and probably for him as well.  He was at his duty station, which was clear across the country from me.  We were apart for a long time.  Only seeing each other on 2 week leaves. Communication was a huge skill we both had to learn, and it wasn't easy.  We stuck it out- and engaged we were.  I graduated High School and married him a month later.  We ran away in the sunset to balmy South Carolina and set up shop. 
We lived on base there for a couple years, and it was the hardest years of my life.  Learning to live with a man, who in retrospect, I barely knew.  Being away from my huge family, when I'd never been away before.  And can we say culture shock? Yeah, a touch.  We hit rough patches, we fought, but we always made up. We grew together, learned about each other, and thank God we liked what we learned! 
Three years after we got married, we learned we were pregnant with our first child.  We also got orders to a new base closer to family.  We up and moved, and were so excited we could hardly stand it.  We, we, were going to have a family of our own. 
We moved to Idaho, had our baby boy, and once again, set up shop again.  We spent money we didn't have, but on the boy we did have.  We were blissfully happy, and two years later decided to give him a sibling.  It took us 8 months to get pregnant, but when that test popped positive- it was the best day on earth.  Our baby girl is now 14 months old- and full of piss and vinegar.  She is so opposite of her laid back (now back talking) brother it's crazy.  Some days I lose my mind.  Most days actually.  But I love it.
And now?  My husband has orders to Greenland for a year, where the family is not authorized to go, and then afterwards, we will be off to Germany!  GERMANY people, GERMANY!  We can't wait.

SO, there's my back story in a nutshell. 

For another day......