August already?

I don't know what the hell I'm going to do when BL leaves for a year.  Yes, I'll be home with family, yes I'll have a support system.  But my sidekick?  Not so much. 

Right now, I'm sick, and my daughter is very sick.  He's on nights, so when I'm up with the kids, he's in bed.  Being sick and taking care of a sick kid is tiring in its self.  Add in a hyper, cabin fevered 4 year old, and it spells C-H-A-O-S.  It's hard not to lose my temper, to keep my cool.  Yesterday I found myself counting down the hours until bedtime.  That isn't fair to him, at all.  I feel bad that I'm out of commission, and all he wants to do is play. 

I told him to go play in the backyard with the dog yesterday.  Do you want to know what he came in and said to me? 

"Mama, I found a spider!!"

A spider?  What does it look like?

"It's black and has woooong wegs."

Okay show me where it is Mr. Austin.

So, he takes me to the spot he saw the spider.  Low and behold... a nasty black widow.  What would have happened if he started playing with it, while I was inside with a sleeping baby on my chest?  I keep running through this in my head, and it's like hitting myself against a brick wall. 

Mommy fail.

All I gotta say, is that I am glad BL was here to kill it when he woke up. Me and spiders, we're not friends.  I hope someone will be killing these nasty spiders for me when BL is gone for the year.  Or I don't know if I will be able to dig my sanity out of the hole it fell into.